Hey there, beautiful souls! Thank you for taking out some time to read my blog 🙂
Firstly, a very Happy Diwali to all of those celebrating! I hope this festive season brings delight, happiness and love into your lives.
During this festive season we gather with many relatives, friends and also meet new people. Therefore, I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about relationships.
Diwali Outfit (Uno/Tres)
This post is inspired by the book: Mastery Of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
It’s important to understand that every human being thinks and feels differently. Everyone has his or her own dreams. This might make it easy for you to understand that two people can never have the same dream. After all, every dreamer is going to dream in his or her own way. That’s why we need to accept the differences between two dreamers: we need to respect one’s dreams.
Those dreams are made of emotions. The two main are: fear and love. Fear is the one that dominates… How to define the two?
- Love has no obligations, whereas Fear is full of obligations.
If you have to do something, you will eventually resist it and suffer. However, if you want to do something, you will do it with pleasure.
- Love has no expectations, whereas Fear is full of expectations.
There is fear when we start expecting, and if our expectations aren’t met, we feel hurt. It feels unfair. We start blaming others for not fulfilling out expectations. Love, on the other hand, doesn’t hurt because we don’t expect something to happen. Rather, whatever happens is ok.
That’s why, when we are in love, anything hardly hurts: there are no expectations and obligations.
- Love = respect. Fear doesn’t respect anything.
Stop (self-)pity! It will lead to disrespect. I remember an instance between me and Ricky (my husband!). I wasn’t sure about taking a job, so I told him how I felt about it and described the many thoughts racing through my mind (very honestly). He patiently listened and rather than telling me what I should do or what he would do in this situation, he simply repeated a set of principles that he suggested I follow to make a decision. He did not send me in a certain direction; rather, he empathized and simply reminded me of the tools at my disposal to resolve this doubt myself. I was surprised, but soon I felt empowered.
This is an example of ruthless love. It doesn’t feel sorry for anyone, but has compassion. He told me, I love you; I know you can make the decission yourself. This one sentence gave me so much power and motivation 🙂
- Love is responsible, whereas Fear avoids responsibility.
The biggest mistakes come from avoiding responsibility, as every action has a consequence. Either we make a choice or not: there is always going to be an outcome or a reaction. Moreover, when others try to be responsible for you, it creates a yet more drama; at the end of it all, you pay for your mistakes anyway.
- Love is kind, Fear always unkind.
Fear = full of obligations, expectations, with no respect, avoiding responsibility and feeling sorry. How do we ever think to feel good when we are suffering from so much fear? Victimized by everything, angry, sad, jealous and/or betrayed…
- It’s true, Love is unconditional, unlike Fear.
Fear is all about the ”IF”: I love you IF you let me control you, IF you fit into the image I make for you, etc.
With Love, there is NO IF – I love you for NO REASON, with NO JUSTIFICATION 🙂
In every relationship there are two halves, one half is you, the other half if your son, daughter, mother, friend, partner or anyone. You are ONLY responsible for your half! There is no way you can be responsible for what’s inside another person’s head. You don’t know what that person believes, feels, the assumptions he/she makes and much more… It’s out of your control, so don’t even try. Control is a fear, a form of disrespect too.
Love is giving more than taking – and you love yourself so much that selfish people can’t take advantage of you. Be clear, be true to them and to yourself.
To enjoy a relationship to the utmost, it all starts with YOU. Become aware that everyone is different and be responsible for your half 🙂
Let’s bring LOVE IN ACTION, which can only produce happiness this Diwali! No explanation, no justification, just practice your love towards everyone, because that is something you can control!
Subh Diwali to you and your Family!
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